Recently a series of unexpected events happened in my life. It was a time of new breeze and a changing season where wholly new people and experiences blew in, and a few long-held preconceptions, beliefs and behaviours were uprooted and blown away without so much as a goodbye.
How often this seems to happen when the person of Jesus turns up... see Matthew 8 for example.
This was a time characterised by the fragrance of earth after rain... everything all fresh, malleable, uncertain, but full of potential; imbued with a sense that anything could happen. This was also a season through which God taught me a great deal.
He taught me about my own prejudices towards others and myself.
He taught me I am more incredible, interesting, and worth knowing than i'd ever realised... but also that I have deep brokenness that He doesn't want me to have to live with anymore.
Sometimes God in His wisdom calls us to face challenges seemingly alone; knowing that when we do step "into the ring" with the shadow(s) of our problems, only then will we find His light and hand there. On other occasions He knows that the simple act of approaching said darkness is totally inconceivable without another's physical hand in ours... the physical presence, strength, and loving affirmation of a champion beside us. In His grace, He sometimes gives these.
At still other times; He meets us somewhere in the middle of these two - bringing a person or people whose strength enables us to stand and face the problem... but then in His wisdom, He takes the champion away once we find the courage (or faith) to lift our heads and walk into the face of the darkness and the midst of the battle trusting only in Him.
This has been my experience in this season.
It is no doubt not an accident that the Psalmist refers to God as "the lifter of my head".
And so to God's lessons of late...
Sometimes God speaks to me through things I physically see.
The two images above are an example of this. I saw them both within a few days of each other.
The image on the left is of a box housing electrical supplies. It was opposite the front door of one of the "champions" I spoke about earlier...which I couldn't help but think was significant.
The street the box was on had roadworks which reduced the overall height of the pavement. Originally the pavement level covered the rust at the base of the box, making it appear to have overall structural integrity and strong weight-bearing capacity. Only when the base was exposed, did the true structural integrity show - there was rust at the base. More on that later.
The image on the right is of a large sycamore tree that used to line the canal path next to my house. Originally it was on the river bank which is structurally a dodgy position for a tree, but paradoxically can also mean that trees are really well-fed and able to grow strong and put down good roots (this is why Isaiah 61 describes God as rebuilding ruins into "oaks of righteousness" and Ezekiel 47 cites trees along the banks of a river "whose fruit is good and whose leaves are for the healing of the nations"). The tree in this image fell unexpectedly in a storm. It was huge and -like the electrical box- appeared beforehand to be strong, healthy, fit for purpose and structurally very sound. As I inspected the fallen tree, I saw that at the very base (the point at which it had weakened and fallen) hidden from view until it fell; there was disease; there was rot at the roots.
As I walked, I talked with God about these two images -
Me: "Daddy, what are you saying here?"
God: "Do you notice your vicar's shoes when you're face-to-face?"
Me (bemused!): "no, not really Lord"
God: "exactly!"
"what about when He's on the stage preaching...do you notice
his shoes then?"
Me: "not always...but yes, more so than when He's face-to-face with
me."
God: "and why is that?
Me: "because He's above (higher up) and in front of me."
God: "exactly! [Good girl...you're getting this!]"
"what I am showing you here is that when I raise people up in
ministry, I expose what is at their roots when I put them before
others [on a platform; metaphorical or literal]. What I am doing
in your life at the moment is exposing the problems at your
roots so that I can deal with them, heal them, strengthen them,
and continue to raise you up and use you in ministry. If I raise
someone up and they don't have the root-work done; no matter how
much they try and hide the rot at their roots; it will
eventually destabilise and undermine the integrity of their
entire ministry past, present, and future
(He then showed me some examples of people where this had happened).
"is this what you want Emma?"
Me: "No Lord...do what you need to with me"
God: "ok. I will"
